BATTLE: LOS ANGELES (Directed By Jonathan Liesbesan-2011)

Making a film as hysterically overblown as Independence Day look almost unpatriotic and quaint may seem like a difficult task but somehow director Jonathan Liesbesman has achieved just that with his blockbuster explosion of an alien invasion disaster move Battle: Los Angeles. It's fairly obvious from the start that there's nothing particularly daring or original on display here and even the most open minded of cinema goer will be cringing at the film makers apparent lack of knowledge that not only has this idea been approached more than once before but that of course even the toughest and most daring of marine platoons CAN in fact be beaten when placed on the firing line against a ruthless and better equipped alien race. The film's weaknesses and carefree excitement can at times however be it's strengths. It's surprisingly inoffensive and the ever endearing presence of Aaron Eckhart leaves you feeling confident that you're in safe hands for the duration of the film. Such is the power of casting a familiar face in the lead role and the ever so predictable world of Hollywood cinema. It would of course be a pleasant surprise to see the entire cast wiped out and the alien race succeed for once but sadly that's not likely to happen any time soon. As entertaining as they are, films of this ilk never come close to any sense of realism.
The line between cinema and ultra violent home video games has got so thin over recent years that viewing a film such as Battle: Los Angeles can seem so artificial and animated it's easy to drift off and lose interest, especially when the invading alien race looks so bland.
All in all, the premise and plot of Battle: Los Angeles is way too generic to rate as any type of classic, yet it is enjoyable and certainly does achieve what it sets out to do. However, most audiences will find the action sequences fail to live up to the doomsday-esque invasion the poster and title promise and will simply lap it up as a sunday afternoon popcorn film. It has got a bit of a warm hearted edge but ultimately demands nothing from it's viewer.

Nightwatch (Directed By Ole Bornedal 1994)

Dannish writer and director Ole Bornedal's original envisaging of this film is a compelling and potent affair. The director remade it for a British audience a mear three years after the original but this is most definitely the film of the two to go with.
Young law sudent Martin takes a job as a nightwatchman at the local morgue while his college girlfriend studies to be an actress. Besides the hugely creepy and clearly unhinged caretaker who shows Martin the ropes, his tedious job is occasionally interuppted by a police officer intrigued with inspecting the bodies of local prostitutes who are being scalped by an unknown psychopath. All is not well when the body count starts rising and amidst some childish pranks between Martin and his domminant best friend Jens, a run in with a young local prostitute the finger is soon pointing at him as the cause of the murders.
The script and central characters are all utterly convincing and help the claustrophobic atmosphere rise and rise to an almost unbearable level of tension and both Martin (Nikolaj Coster Waldau) and his girlfriend Kalinka (Sofie Grabol) ring every last bit of fear and emotion out of the final scene. Setting the film in the morgue was a stroke of geius on Bornedeal's part and his use of location becomes an integral character in itself. Reigning in the usual blood drenched set pieces for the most part and favouring a refined but ultimately more startling approach, the key to the films slightly surprising climax relies almost entirely on suggestion, and whilst the viewer knows what attrocities are going on, the use of suggestion works wonders in the films favour. The discovery of the real killers identification sets the imagination into overdrive and demands an immediate rewatch so the viewer can tie the films numerous twists together.
Nightwatch is truly inspiring cinema. Highly watchable and eternally doom laden, this is one slice of horror that is due some rediscovery.

Paul (Directed By Greg Mottolo 2011)

A film that should win an award simply for doing exactly what you think it's going to do, Paul is juvenile fun of the highest order and is quite simply a breath of fresh comedic air and one that has already set the standard for the genre pretty high for 2011. After the lacklustre but stylishly executed Hot Fuzz, both Simon Pegg and Nick Frost drifted off into rather boring and uncharacteristically straight film roles but here, accompanied by Superbad Director Greg Mottolo,the guys return very much to form. And it couldn't be a more welcome return. Paul sees the ever watchable duo goofing around as if their late 90's slacker hit TV show Spaced only finished yesterday.
The simple premise finds the very British Graeme Willy (Pegg) and Clive Gollings (Frost) travelling across America to attend a Comicon convention and stumbling rather fittingly upon Paul (the Alien of the films title voiced by and clearly based on the personality of Seth Rogen). For the past sixty years, Paul has been hiding out at a top secret military base and upon discovering that he's actually been taken prisoner for all this time, he decides to escape the compound and hop on the first vehicle out of town in an attempt to return to his home planet. From here on, a rather slapstick FBI trio consisting of Saturday Night Live stars Bill Hader, Joe Lo Truglio and the ever watchable Jason Bateman set about finding Paul and returning him, whilst under strict command from their headquarters. However, with little persuasion, Graeme and Clive set about trying to return Paul to his mothership before he is discovered. The chemistry between these three is priceless and somehow, amidst coming to terms with the fact the two geeks have an actual real life alien on board their Winnebago they accidently kidnap Ruth (Played fantastically as usual by Kristen Wiig) from her demanding Christian father which sees them get themselves caught up in even more trouble as they race against the federal bigwigs in one hilariously silly road trip.
Jam packed with references to Star Wars (obviously) Alien(Sigouney Weaver plays the hard as nails FBI boss) and numerous other geeky Sci-Fi pleasures such as E.T and Close Encounters, Paul is very hard to not just sit back and enjoy. It's put together with such love and an obvious sense of admiration between the cast and crew members that it almost instantly fells like a bit of a genre classic. Referential and fun films like this can easily miss the mark but when they get it right they can feel timeless. No thanks to Peggs wardrobe and T shirt choices throughout and Mottolo slipping in all the obvious gags from the safely tried and tested road trip film. Numerous fantastic cameos, the odd drug related humour, plenty of harmless but excessive explosions and the expected love story sideline. Luckily this element doesn't weigh the film down at all and instead provides Wiig with some hysterical one liners as she quickly ditches her religious upbringing and starts picking up and misusing a vast array of swear words. Also, and very much a highlight is the brief but very funny chemistry between Wiig and Jane Lynch. These two really should consider doing more films together as their dry and almost sarcastic personalities compliment each other fantastically.
In fact,everyone in this film (and that definitely including Paul himself) plays their parts so naturally and down to earth it's easy to forget this is a big budget Hollywood film. It avoids being too over blown whilst maintaining its integrity and as per usual Frost and Pegg have no trouble playing pretty much themselves. These are the roles they were meant to play. Just wait for the intentionally over dramatic and drawn out climax which boasts a well timed and nicely added touch thanks to Frost's deadpan enthusiasm.

Here's hoping Paul does as well as it deserves. It certainly doesn't need a sequel, prequel or anything else. It's a fun and entertaining hour an a half that should impress anyone who enjoys this sort of thing. Besides, this is hardly high brow entertainment and after seeing the poster, noone is likely to go into this expecting anything too serious and demanding.

Shock Waves (Directed By Ken Wiederhorn 1977)

A visually striking film that, whilst no classic remains a somewhat lost gem for 70's horror fanatics. Perhaps because of the slightly deranged but memorable appearance of Pete Cushing or the rather too brief cameo from John Carradine. More likely though, this films cult status is down to it's completely far fetched idea of an unstoppable race of Nazi zombie stormtroopers living under water. Though the ridiculous sub genre of truly unwatchable Nazi horror films of the time was never going to be the most popular of cinematic avenues, Shock Waves is a much more subtle and subdued affair than one might expect. Relying almost entirely on creepy lingering camera work and a frankly quite unnerving synth score, if it weren't for the atmosphere this film creates it could probably pass for a PG certificate these days.
Director Ken Wiederhorn displays some promising touches here, but after a brief fifteen minutes of fame with The Eyes Of A Stranger he vanished into obscurity with bottom of the barrel trash such as Return Of The Living Dead 2. It seems a shame though as this underwater zombie idea idea contains the potent atmosphere and colourful visuals that nightmares are made of, and whilst it's all in rather bad taste, Wiederhorn treats the subject matter with a almost haunting subtlety. Given the fairly predictable storyline of a group of shipwrecked and stranded twenty somethings being hunted down by the SS undead (and given the fact that the opening credits have already told us who the sole survivor is!)the cast do a fairly good job here, especially Brooke Adams as the leading lady. A lot of the editing is a bit choppy and any form of character development plays second fiddle to the inevitable zombie attack, which, when it finally kicks in isn't anywhere near as menacing as the build up perhaps leads you to believe it will be. However, what Shock Waves does so poetically prove is how in some occasions gore and excessive bloodshed really aren't always necessary. And this is one film that almost works better without any violence.
Shock Waves is an interesting, flawed but genuinely creepy little film that remains virtually unknown. Blue Undergrounds DVD claims the original negative was lost some twenty odd years ago but their 2007 release is a restored special edition. Unfortunately it still looks very grainy and does the soundtrack no favours at all.
Perhaps it never looked pristine to begin with. However, what this DVD edition does present us with is a nice little Directors commentary and a short but sweet interview with star Luke Halpin. (Who has fond memories of the film and strangely looks almost exactly the same now as he did then. Mullet and moustache intact)

Highlights of the Big Screen 2010 (A Brief and slightly late rundown)

RARE EXPORTS (Directed by Jalmari Helander 2010) A Christmas Film like no other and devoid of any way of proper description in a review this short. Let’s just say I came out of the cinema very impressed but also a bit confused with what the film was aiming for. I think if Jean-Pierre Jeunet had decided to direct a remake of Gremlins set in Finland it would look a little like this. An exciting, funny but overall highly unorthodox film that I’m looking forward to seeing again at some point this year.


THE CLINIC (Directed by James Rabbitts 2010) The one film at Frightfest that had my lady friend holding her stomach for most of it’s duration. The Clinic is an effective but menacing film. The premise is simple. While travelling across country with her fiance, pregnant Beth wakes to find herself in an isolated clinic in a bath full of ice and her baby missing. Gradually she discovers said clinic is inhabited by several other women who have unwillingly found themselves in the same situation and together they must find out what exactly has happened to them. Beautifully shot and disturbing in an entirely different way to most horrors, The Clinic gives us a fresh new talent in Director James Rabbitts.

SOCIAL NETWORK (Directed By David Fincher 2010) One of the highest grossing films of the last year and another sleeper hit for Fincher, The Social Network tells the true story behind Mark Zuckerberg’s theft of a college students idea for the now infamous time wasting scheme known as Facebook. Jesse Eisenberg (of Zombieland fame) really shines in this role and along with a surprisingly engrossing performance from one Justin Timberlake (a name I never thought would grace the pages of this blog) make this a highly enjoyable, if slightly too long film. The usual mouth watering cinematography and soundtrack (this time a superb Trent Reznor score) that you would expect from a Fincher film are all very much present and accounted for, and Eisenberg’s portrayal of Zuckerberg simply gets better and better as the story progresses. I personally didn’t enjoy the first half hour of the film that much but was patient and found the it really did pay off in the end (Pun very much intended).

A SERBIAN FILM (Directed by Srdjan Spasojevic 2010) OK, well, I’m afraid I just couldn’t leave this controversial title off the list as, despite what you have or haven’t heard about this film it really is unlike anything you are ever likely to see. Ever. By far the most talked about, revered, hated, loved film of last year and one I have been thinking of reviewing in depth for a while now(but simply cannot!), A Serbian Film is brutal, unflinching and disturbing beyond what even the toughest of gore hounds and exploitation film lovers could even begin to imagine, and not just because it breaks so many taboos and pushes so many boundaries of public expectancy it leaves one speechless, but because it’s actually extremely well made and original! If you do get a chance to see this film try and avoid the truncated UK DVD release from Arrow films and seek out the full version. (The same version that the BBFC insisted to be shown at last years Frightfest, resulting on the festivals curators pulling the film at the last minute, refusing to show a version of the film that ruined the integrity of the Directors original vision.) I am in no way saying I condone what goes on throughout this film or that it is in any way enjoyable but it certainly has stuck with me for both good and bad reasons and should at least be seen as the director intended it. People will undoubtedly ask if you would edit a record or a work of art? And the answer is understandably no. So why watch a film with certain scenes missing? Well, in the case of this film certain sources tell me the BBFC may for once have a valid point. Anyhow, You would need to judge this for yourselves. Right...I’m glad I don’t have to mention that particular film again anytime soon.


PIRANHA 3D (Directed by Alexandre Aja 2010) Not entirely sure what Alexandre Aja (the man behind such intensites as The Hills Have Eyes remake and High Tension) was thinking when he made this ridiculously over blown male fantasy of a film but there you go. Existing purely in 3d so the naked underwater sequences look all the more enticing, Piranha 3d is fun. Nothing more, nothing less. And whilst it most certainly isn’t good, or what I was either hoping for or expecting from this director, it’s worth seeing just to watch a hugely annoying but appropriately cast Jerry O’connell having his man hood removed and devoured by angry fish. Oh and of course, in the vein of peter Jackson’s Brain Dead it’s insanely gory. So much so it became hysterically funny as it progressed.


TOY STORY 3 (Directed by Lee Unkrich 2010) OK, not the normal title you would expect on the dark and sinister pages of “It’s a trap” but one simply too good to not mention. In fact, this may be my favourite of the trilogy. Luckily watching it in 3d on the big screen meant those of us who justifiably welled-up during the films rather full on climax could hide our tears behind our cardboard glasses and get lost in our own sentimental worlds.


EASY A (Directed by Will Gluck 2010) A Surprisingly enjoyable and light-hearted adaption of The Scarlett Letter starring the ever watchable Emma Stone as the down to earth high school student who relies on rumors and gossip about her apparent loss of virginity to boost her popularity at school. Obviously with mixed results and some hilarious twists and turns. Easy A is good fun and one of the better American teen flicks of last year.

PREDATORS (Directed by Nimród Antal 2010) What are you meant to think of a film when the director is seriously called Nimrod?! Well, actually, whilst obviously not up there with the original, comes very close and proved a more than likable 107 minutes. (minus the dull drop in momentum halfway through. No offence to Laurence Fishburnes performance but his scenes lost the film its drive for a while). Brody proves to be an unusual but good choice as the lead role and the obvious presence of action films new godfather Danny Trejo makes for satisfying viewing. The predator himself looks just the part too, as if he hasn’t had a wardrobe change since Arnie last kicked his ass about the jungle. The key to this film is how little it relies on special effects. Something quite refreshing these days. My only real gripe being the ridiculous CGI planet they discover halfway through the film. Not necessary.


WE ARE WHAT WE ARE (Directed by Jorge Michel Grau 2010) In this strange atmospheric Mexican Cannibal tale the audience is made to work fairly hard for most of the films running time to figure out what is actually going on. The story tells of a close but dysfunctional family living in poverty after coming to terms with the sudden death of their father. A rather bleak and down beat film that relies very much on the powerful and memorable performances of the teenage members of the cast to pick up the pieces and take care of the already disintegrating family unit. I felt the film makers were trying to avoid letting the film become a horror film as such by attempting to connect the viewer with the family stress and fear of the outside world in a way that is twisted yet recognisable. Not as groundbreaking as perhaps it wants to be but a good solid and at times quite nasty film nonetheless.


SUSPIRIA (Directed by Dario Argento 1977) A film I have seen so many hundreds of times and love so greatly I most probably know it word for word and shot for shot. However, I'm mentioning it here because Josh Upstart (Of local exploitation lovers Cigarette Burns Cinema fame) chose to screen a brand spanking new Blu Ray edition at the Rio Cinema in Dalston towards the end of last year. And boy did it look good! Obviously a cinematic highlight of 2010 (or any year should you be lucky enough to catch it on the big screen) and a film I'm sure everyone is familiar with already so a synopsis isn't needed here. The late night Saturday showing accompanied with rouge vino and an excitable crowd proved for a night out unlike no other. The next film being shown by Cigarette Burns will be Daughters Of Darkness on the 19th of February at the Rio and if you like your old school terror with a sting in its tail I would suggest you head on down.


SCOTT PILGRIM VERSUS THE WORLD (Directed by Edgar Wright 2010)I rushed my way through all six graphic novels in less than a week in anticipation to catch what (self confessed super geek and Shaun of the Dead creator) Edgar Wright could do with the story and idea. Knowing already he probably was the ideal man for the job it came as no surprise that no amount of wimpy mumbling from Michael Cera could prevent this from being one of THE films of the year. Hot on the tail of the simply outstanding super hero extravaganza Kick Ass, and I'm sure appealing to the exact same crowd, Scott Pilgrim is a good example of what can be done with a simple idea when left in the (W)right hands. A hugely colourful and enjoyable movie from start to finish and featuring some wonderfully knowing nods to everything from Seinfeld to Comic strip style Batman fight sequences. Not much bad to say here at all, though the love story did get a bit ridiculous towards the end. Now here's hoping it holds up on DVD.

Crazy Heart, Shutter Island, I love you Phillip Morris and the mighty Kick-Ass have not been forgotten, they were mentioned earlier on last year. Though Damned By Dawn, Cyrus and Whip It should definitely have been mentioned somewhere. My bad.

The Car (Directed by Elliot Silverstein-1977)

Killer car movies of the late 70's may not seem like the easiest genre to recommend but this, along with Christine and Speilberg's Duel, are exciting and highly watchable slices of nostalgic fun. And while The Car is obviously as silly as it sounds, it's also genuinely terrifying at times and looks fantastic on DVD (I'm assuming this won't be making it onto Bluray anytime soon and for that I'm quite glad as it doesn't really need any further special treatment). The story couldn't be much simpler. Starring as the local sheriff, James Brolin has the unconventional task of ridding his small New Mexican town from a murderous 2 door black sedan that appears to be driving itself. And that's pretty much it. However, there are several interesting hints throughout that the car may be driven by the devil himself,(starting quite blatantly with an unnerving Anton La Vey quote at the start of the film) making this a truly one of kind experience, and despite the car itself being the main character you're likely to remember, Brolin is the star of the film. His performance as Sherriff Wade Parent(?!)plays out very much like a warm up for his career defining turn in 1979's Amytiville Horror. His personal vendetta against the evil sedan spirals into a crazy showdown in the dessert after the unexplained death of his girlfriend Lauren (Kathleen Lloyd). There are certain jumps and shocks in this film that simply have to be seen to be believed, and while there are a few rather talky moments, the sheer unpredictability of the script and the bizarre use of sped up car chases keep you gripped to the final jaw dropping credit sequence.

Evil sedans and horror aside, Silverstein's film also boasts some truly spectacular scope photography, courtesy of the man behind Young Frankenstein and other Mel Brooks features, Gerald Hirschfeld. Here, he makes incredible use of the films sparse location and provides an integral contribution to the overwhelming atmosphere. The opening sequence alone appears almost immediately legendary before the car has even made it's first appearance. The opening shot sends shivers up the spine with an almost amusing anticipation. Arriving at top speed through a menacing cloud of dessert dust and a red-tinted camera lenses (so we know when we are meant to be seeing this from the car's point of view)the car wastes no time at all in offing a young couple of cyclists in an opening that may very well be the films defining moment. The tone is set straight away, and whilst similarities to Duel are going to be obvious, this film moves quicker and is definitely stooped deeper in the traditionl stalk and slash horror field. Only here it's in non human form, making it all the more unsettling. At the same time this film has a justifiably low 12 certificate in the UK as it's easy to be seen as a harmless exercise in an almost 1950's comic book style. There's nothing at all offensive on display here whatsoever and could very well be shown before the watershed. Finally, but interestingly, it's also worth pointing out the similarities between Leonard Rosenman's sweeping score and Wendy Carlos's main theme to Kubricks adaption of Stephen Kings The Shining. The two pieces of music are almost identical. The Car predates The Shining by three years however, so, you heard it here first. While not quite up there with Christine (another King favourite) The Car is a good solid film. Of it's time in every way but also just a little suprising in it's originality. Happy viewing.

Poltergeist (Music Video Directed By Prano Bailey-Bond-2010)

Poltergeist hits you like a sinister slap in the face. So effortlessly energetic and vibrant a music video it takes a few views for the adrenalin to wear off and the film to actually sink in. The simple and effective story of one girl's attempts to escape herself on her walk home one night (only to be confronted by a rather personal evil at her every turn) is set to a memorably creepy yet fairly minimal piece of music composed by Ash Sargant and Robert Housden. A sort of horror Trip-Hop mash up of heavy bass and repetitive growls, and a tune that lingers in the mind long after the video has ended. The combination of erratic beats and claustrophobic imagery combine here to make the perfect urban nightmare, the gorgeous glow of street lamps smother the rural streets of London with all the colours of the night. Brilliantly unique in its boldness, Poltergeist squeezes so much into its four minutes running time (musically and visually)that there's hardly a pause for breath! As each character is introduced the tension heightens greatly and a different sprinkling of cheeky black humour is found at every corner. Director Prano Bailey-Bond also appears as not one, not two, but every character in the film! And playing out such a confident and varied display of performances you wonder how she finds time to sleep! Original, exciting and downright weird. Here's the video.

(Oh and keep a lookout for Prano's spider logo)